An excerpt from my book....
Most of the time when an emotion gets triggered it will not be a life or death situation. Which means that we can take the time to identify the emotions that have been triggered. I won’t lie to you all and say this is easy to do. It takes a lot of practice. It is also a diminishing skill. So, if you don’t use it you will lose it.
Using your emotional vocabulary is essential to handling emotionally charged
situations. You must identify each specific emotion to be able to process them effectively. After you identify the emotion(s) you can evaluate what type of response, or even if any response is warranted. Also, you can look at the meaning you place on the event that just occurred to trigger your emotional response. Often times we place meaning where there is none. Are you choosing to give your power and control to the person who triggered those emotions? Do you think that the guy who cut you off on the freeway is thinking about you and how he hurt your feelings? Get over yourself.
Think how powerful a tool this can be for you. How much more effective could you be in your life and in each interaction if you were able to take control of your reactions to your emotions? Envision how much time you will save by moving on from a minor incident without dragging it around with you all day long. Hear the conversations you could have with others if you weren’t complaining about your drive to work or that waiter who forgot your drink. What type of life do you want to live?